


Moving on

by Hails09



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-08 23:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1960476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hails09/pseuds/Hails09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you move on from the best thing you've ever had?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

October 2014

 

"So, you just ended it?"

"Mhhm," Meryl nodded. "This hot chocolate smells amazing, Tanith. You have to give me the recipe."

"Stop changing the subject," Tanith poured herself a cup and came to kneel beside Meryl on the couch. 

"I'm not! It was..." She paused, struggling to find the right word. "Okay. Civil."

"Civil?" Tanith raised an eyebrow. "That's not how breakups usually are."

Meryl shrugged, pulling her knees up to her chest. She breathed in the steam of the hot chocolate, letting the warmth flow through her shivering body. It was an unusually chilly night in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Tanith had invited her over for some "girl talk." But they both knew it was a ruse to get Meryl talking about him, since she's been barricading herself in her condo for the past week.

"And you're fine?" Tanith asked, concern evident in her voice. 

"Absolutely." She flashed a half smile and took a long sip of her scalding hot drink. Ignoring the searing burn. Willing the physical pain to surpass the emotional. 

Tanith changed the subject shortly after that and they spent the rest of the night exchanging embarrassing stories about Charlie. But Meryl knew Tanith didn't believe her, and silently thanked her for not pushing it any further. 

When she got home a few hours later, all the tears that threatened to fall earlier that night finally did. 

"I'm fine" she repeated to herself. Her voice, shaky with sobs, echoed in the dark condo. 

She would end up repeating that dreadful sentence to everyone the rest of the week. They all smiled and nodded and promptly changed the subject, but she knew no one believed her. 

She didn't even believe herself. 

\---------------

 

"So, she just ended it?"

"Yup, pretty much." Maks replied. Trying, and failing, to mask the bitterness in his voice. 

Val cast a questioning glance at him. 

"Oooh another goal! You're losing your touch, man." Maks exclaimed. He kept his eyes on the tv screen the whole time, not trusting himself to lock eyes with his brother. 

"I don't care about the damn video game, Maks. Tell me how you're feeling." A surprising intensity creeped in his voice. 

Maks put down the controller and turned to face Val. 

"What do you want me to say? Sure, she was great. She was perfect, she was amazing. But it's over now. What's done is done."

"Did she say why?"

"What they all say; it's not you it's me. Our schedules are too hectic. We have no time to see each other. It's best for our careers to split up. Same old bullshit." Val winced at the lingering bitterness that wove through his brother's voice. 

"Okay." He knew Maks well enough to not push the subject any farther. This was as much as he was going to give him, and he'd have to accept it. 

He also knew him well enough to know how this was killing him on the inside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Meryl/Charlie bonding moments! It’s going to be Meryl’s point of view from now on. And I swear I sat down this time and told myself to make this chapter happy and sweet but nope, didn’t happen. Also, I kind of rushed through this so I apologize if there are any mistakes. As always, feedback is appreciated :)

December 2014

 

The first month was the hardest.  
He called. She ignored. He cursed. She cried. 

She said it’ll get better in time. It’ll stop hurting in time. 

Every week got slightly better. Slowly Meryl came out of her blanket cocoon and, with much encouragement from her mother, ate a proper meal and showered. She resumed her online classes and went back to the rink. 

Her first day back was just as uncomfortable as she imagined. She drove around aimlessly before finally gathering up the courage to park in the lot and walk in. She wasn’t nervous, it’s not like anyone there cared about her love life. She was mostly embarrassed at how she was coping. Separated shoulders, broken toes, deep gashes, nothing ever quite fazed Meryl Davis, Olympic champion, as much as a breakup. 

When she walked in, she avoided the dressing room and went straight to the benches to put on her skates. 

"So glad to have you back, Mer." Charlie said as he skated over to her. His warm grin made Meryl instantly feel better. 

"Glad to be back." She did her best to force out a smile in return, and managed to put on an expression that made her look like she was about to vomit. Which, frankly, was how she was feeling inside. 

"You missed quite an exciting week." Charlie continued. "The little ones missed you so much. We hope you don’t mind but we started the routine for the ice show without you."

They had started coaching that summer. At first it started as a hobby, but the popularity of the Arctic Edge and their master classes grew so much that the rink hired them part time. It was a great way to keep skating, but not be too involved. 

"No not at all. I missed them too," she was about to get up to walk on the ice when Charlie sat down by her. 

"You look a lot better you know. Tanith told me you were having a tough time." It was clear that Tanith told him to talk to her. Charlie wasn’t particularly fond of deep, heartfelt conversations. 

"Thanks, Charlie." She trailed off, not knowing what to say. 

An awkward pause lingered in the air as Charlie tried to think of a way to bring the subject up “You know the show next week-“

"I know, we’re a bit behind but we’ll practice today." She silently prayed he’d leave it at that. 

"We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, I mean-" he paused, realizing this wasn’t a plausible offer. It was too late to back out, she’d checked. 

They signed the contract for Shall We Dance on Ice back in June. Meryl was ecstatic to be dancing with Maks again, none of them ever envisioned being in this situation. But, they were professionals. Sure the last time they danced together they fell madly, hopelessly in love, only to have it shredded by Meryl, but maybe this time they can do it without the prolonged hugs and near kisses. 

Meryl shook her head, a clear indication for him to stop talking. He took her hand and led her to the ice. They ran through their show program effortlessly, making up for lost time. It felt good to be back in Charlie’s arms, feeling the ice beneath her feet again. It was a piece of amenity she’d been yearning for. 

The rest of the week went much like that day. With early practices in the morning, a short lunch, and either ballet, cardio or more on-ice practice in the afternoon. Before they knew it, and much to Meryl’s dismay, it was time to board the plane to Illinois.

Their itineraries were emailed to them that morning so she and Charlie went over it on the flight. They were to have four programs each. Two with each other , one with with their respective pros and one group number. _Only one dance together,_ she thought. _I can do this._

They walked off the plane and fresh into the arena. It was large, with impressive seating that was all sold out. A raised stage was on one side with the ice surrounding it. It was a practice for the skaters only, the dance practice was to be held in individual studios later that day. She warmed up with Charlie and caught up with the other skaters before practice ended all too soon. After a quick lunch, she was off to the dance practice. 

Meryl nervously wrung her hands in the back seat as the driver pulled up to the quaint dance studio in the heart of Bloomington. Charlie was a few blocks away, probably exchanging stories and laughing away with Sharna. A mixture of emotions overwhelmed her as she walked inside and made her way to the designated room. Fear being the most prominent. How do you come face to face with the man who’s heart you broke less than two months ago? You don’t, that’s how. A wave of nausea hit her and she stopped in the middle of the hallway and put her forehead against the wall the suppress it. She was about to get her water bottle when she felt a hand on her back. Meryl turned around with a sharp gasp.  
"Are you okay?"


	3. The Reunion

Words failed her. 

During all those weeks she spent boarded up in her room she thought up exactly what to say to him when they saw each other again. She had a plan. She’d predicted his every move like a star chess player. Resentful stares, yells, and snide remarks under his breath were included in that plan. This, the sweet, concerned look on his face and a gentle hand on her arm, was not. Anger bubbled in her heart and threatened to spew out. She _wanted_ him to yell. She _wanted_ him to tell her what a bitch she was for breaking his heart just so she can say it all back. Maybe then, her anger would be just enough to replace the lonely ache.

Meryl realized he was still waiting for an answer so she nodded. The familiar weight of his hand lingered on her arm for a second more before he removed it. Leaving her to silently scold herself for wanting it longer. He led her to the room and quickly busied himself with the speaker to avoid further conversation. 

Practice finished without a hitch. Maks had taught her the basis of the routine, an Argentine tango, in an hour. Leaving them the remainder of the week to polish it off. He was polite, caring, and respectful. She kept waiting for an outburst or a fight but it never happened. Meryl flashed back to the early days of Dancing With The Stars when she was surprised by his nurturing personality the first time. But this was different. A small part of her wanted him to be in just as much pain as she was. In some sick, twisted way, it would make her feel better. 

Their practices were quiet, just like they were during the show. He would demonstrate to her what he wanted her to do, then he’d step back and count the beats as she copied it. The second day of practice was also uneventful, much to Meryl’s surprise. But they had managed to fall into a familiar and steady rhythm. She was stuffing her sneakers into her bag at the end of the day when she heard him clear his throat behind her. 

"I was just uhm wondering if you were hungry and wanted to uh, grab some lunch." He looked at the floor, maintaining an unnecessary wide distance from her. 

Meryl was about to say no, after all he seemed just as uncomfortable asking her as she was agreeing to it. But she figured, they’d have to talk about it sometime. And if he’s not going to bring it up somehow, this will be the perfect time for her to. 

"Sure," she turned around to face him and threw her bag across her shoulder. A surprised reaction crossed his face for a split second before he changed it. Maks nodded and led her to the car. He put their bags in the back seat and rushed to open the door for her to get in. Meryl’s heart fluttered and she bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from grinning like a schoolgirl. 

They drove in comfortable silence. She spent the whole ride re-planning the conversation they were to have, and he spent it planning how to avoid it. Maks took her to a small restaurant near the hotel and after they ordered and managed to exchange some meaningless small talk about the dance and the show, Meryl finally decided it was time. 

"So Maks, how’ve you been?" _how’ve you been? way to go Meryl was that the best you could come up with?_

He stared at the napkin in his lap and exhaled. 

"I’ve been good. How about you?" The tone of his voice bordered on frustration and sadness. Meryl knew Maks was the kind of person that would be content just to beat around the bush, but not her. Meryl Davis talked things through, Meryl Davis planned ahead, Meryl Davis made lists. It was just the way she was. 

"I’m fine." She couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony. 

He looked up with an amused expression, “what?”

"Nothing," Meryl answered. "It’s just that I’ve been repeating that damn sentence to everyone these past two months." _fuck fuck fuck why’d I say that._

She dropped her head instantly, hiding behind a thin curtain of her hair. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to see his reaction to what she just implied. Still, she could feel his intense gaze burning holes through her. She slowly looked up to see Maks opening his mouth to say something, but shake his head and close it again. Their food came and Meryl decided that that was enough for today, mostly because she didn’t trust herself to talk anymore. 

She hated being with him and loved it at the same time. For a heavenly few minutes at a time she could see brief flashes of the old Maks and Meryl. He would smile and look at her in a way she’d swoon. He’d nonchalantly sweep his hand over hers and she’d relish in his soft touch. But then a phone would ring, or he’d get a text from his agent and that awful tone she’d attached to loneliness and late night conversations that never happened would claw at her heart. This was the life he had, the life he couldn’t give up no matter how many times he told her he would. All Meryl had to do was release a retirement statement and she’d be set, but everyone always wanted a piece of Maksim Chmerkovskiy. And she didn’t want to be the one to hold him back. It was for the best, for both of their careers. 

He drove her to the hotel afterwards, all the words unsaid engulfing them in a somber cloud. Meryl thanked him for dinner and he came with her up to her room. As she searched for the key, he pulled her into a hug. She felt his lips place a soft kiss in her hair and mumble “I’m sorry.” Before she could react, he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I’ve written and re-rewritten this chapter so many times because I’ve had the biggest writers block ever for the past months so sorry that this is so late :/ I have the next chapter written already because it strangely came to me before I even thought of this chapter so the wait for that one shouldn’t be too long :)_
> 
>  

Meryl woke up to the chime of her phone signalling a text message, she searched blindly over the side table with one hand while the other shielded the early morning sun from her eyes.

**Charlie:** No rehearsal today. The cast is going to explore the town. Meet us in the lobby at 9.

Meryl got up with a groan and walked to the shower, silently cursing Charlie for waking her up so early on a day off. She’d laid awake for hours last night, thinking and rethinking over what had happened with Maks; she hated herself for being so caught up on it, hated him even more for making her feel this way. At least she had a break today, a full day with the whole cast was just what Meryl needed, they usually only got one day off during shows, and it was always the best day. Even if Maks was there it would be easy to avoid him, she’d deal with it later.

As soon as Meryl made her way downstairs she was met with a chattering group of skaters and dancers, planning their day in excitement. After greeting them with a chorus of squeal and hugs, she took a quick look around to see no sign of Maks and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe sightseeing wasn’t his thing, after all.

She was deep in conversation with Tanith about the plans of the day when the front doors opened, sending in a chilly breeze and a flurry of snowflakes. And a tall Russian.

"Okay, everyone; the buses are almost here,” Maks’ voice rang out across the lobby, and made everyone turn to him. 

He was standing by the heater, dusting snow from his clothes and occasionally blowing on his hands to warm them. He had on his famous outfit of a beanie, black hoodie, and matching jogging pants. She chuckled as she remembered how much Maks hated winter, spending as much time as possible in California and the south during the season was his favourite winter hobby.

_But Mer, how can anyone see my abs in these puffy jackets?”_

_It’s going to be your first Michigan winter, Maks. Dad and Clay are taking you skiing,” she replied, tapping her foot impatiently. “You’re going to need one of these to survive.”_

_He pouted and crossed his arms, eyeing the winter gear suspiciously. “I can survive in my tank tops.”_

_"Just try it on,” she laughed._

_"I look absolutely ridiculous,” Maks would say five minutes later as he stood across the tall mirror, turning every direction to observe his reflection._

_Meryl thought he looked absolutely adorable. She practically had to hold herself back from ripping it off and taking him against the mirror right then and there. But she didn’t, because she was supposed to be mad at him. He’ll regret it when the snow comes, she told herself._

Little did they know he wouldn’t hang around long enough to do anything, let alone experience a Michigan winter.

Meryl snapped out of the memory to realize she’d been staring at Maks the whole time. He met her eyes across the room with a wink and she turned away quickly, busying herself in a conversation and blushing furiously. Tanith gave her an unconvinced gaze, with a shake of her head she pulled Meryl aside from the chatter of the group.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?” Her tone was soothing but frustrated, as if Meryl should’ve figured this out months ago.

Tanith gave her a ‘skip the bullshit’ look. All Meryl could do was look down and stay silent, she didn’t want to have this conversation right now, but Tanith obviously had other plans. She waited for an angry burst, or for Meryl to get defensive but when she realized it wasn’t coming, she continued. “Look, I’m not in any position to tell you what to do, or how to run your life,” Tanith paused, choosing her next words carefully. “But don’t deny this to yourself. Don’t deny the happiness and the joy you get from being with him.”

It stung to hear that. Meryl couldn’t even open her mouth to reply, what would she say? Tanith knew her better than anyone.

"Meryl, I waited five years for Charlie. Five years I sat and I cheered from the sidelines and I waited for us to have an opportunity to settle down as you two traveled the world and did what you loved,” she sighed. “And you know what? I don’t regret a day of it. 

As her words resonated, Meryl realized how similar their situations were. All this time she was complaining when her partner and best friend were going through the same thing, she wished she’d been there for them more, supported her through this just like Tanith had for her. Meryl hugged her tight and mumbled a thank you, not knowing what else to say as they were soon ushered away to the buses.

After a few hours of visiting historical landmarks and receiving tours -led mostly by Maks, surprisingly- they perused through a gift shop while waiting for the bus to take them back. As the team chatted loudly, Meryl weaved her way back through the crowd to Maks.

"I didn’t know you were into this stuff,” she said with amusement as they lazily examined souvenirs at the gift shop, lingering a few feet away from the rest of the group.

"You mean I don’t look like I love visiting historical landmarks of Illinois?” He joked.

"Not really,” she chuckled. “So why do you look like Mr. tour leader?"

"I wanted to impress Miss Anthropology here,” he admitted, playfully bumping her hip.

She tried to figure out if he was joking but he wore an expression she couldn’t quite read. He slowed his pace, glancing around to see if they were alone before turning his attention back to her.

"I need to tell you something,” he hesitated, closing the distance between them. He placed a soft hand on her forearm as his mouth opened a few times and closed again, as if he couldn’t bring himself to say what he wanted to.

The distant chatter of the group hummed in the background as Meryl waited. His features had hardened, she noticed. There were more wrinkles on his forehead, transfixed into a permanent frown. Knowing it was her fault made her angry; angry at herself for doing this to him. She raised a tentative hand to his face, smoothing out the hard features and felt him relax. 

"Hey guys!” Someone called out by the entrance, wildly waving his hands for attention in accompaniment. “We have to go!"

She nodded and walked out, hoping no one saw their exchange and misread it. As Meryl saw Tanith out of the corner of her eye however, she knew it was too late. Tanith’s triumphant smirk said it all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, school has been crazy lately I barely have time for sleeping let alone writing! Anyway, hope you enjoy! Next chapter will be a little different ;)

They got back to the hotel sometime after nine, content and exhausted from a long day of nothing. One by one the athletes bid their goodnights and retired back to their rooms, already groaning about the long day of rehearsal tomorrow, until there were only a handful left. 

Meryl, Charlie, Maks and Sharna broke off and took a seat on the far side of the lobby, conveniently near the bar for a quick escape and away from the buzzing nightlife that was just commencing. Having spent many long nights like this together while on tour for Stars on Ice, they quickly fell back into the familiar rhythm. With the conversation ranging from what they’ve been up to, their careers, Charlie’s new coaching job and Meryl’s graduation. Charlie got them a few rounds of drinks before cracking a few of his jokes about the four of them reuniting again and they reminisced about the days. After a brief update on Maks and Sharna’s new roles on Dancing With The Stars the conversation veered to Tanith and Paul. Meryl downed her fourth shot as they discussed wedding plans, feeling a pang at her chest as the idea of Charlie settling down when she was still deciding where to even go from here was becoming more of a reality. Screw them. Screw everything. Screw Maks. 

She set her glass down with a clink and stood up, holding on the the arm of the chair to keep from teetering. 

"It was so great catching up again, but I think I’m going to head up and call it a night," Meryl said, extending an arm out to hug Sharna. 

She walked to the elevator and pressed the button with one hand, massaging her temple with the other. When it opened she slipped inside and pressed her forehead to the cool metal interior to remedy the headache she felt coming on, barely feeling the strong hand sliding around her waist. 

"Thought you might need a little help there," his gruff voice reverberated in her ear, making her head swim. 

She mumbled a thank you, too out of it to come up with a clever reply.  
Maks followed her out, hand never leaving her side. His thumb hovered just slightly under her sweater, rubbing feather light circles and leaving a trail of goosebumps. He whispered something in her ear but all she could concentrate on was his touch and how she wanted to melt into it. Maybe it was the buzz of the alcohol or maybe it was the fatigue, but she didn’t object when he followed her into her room. And maybe it was just a dream, but the last thing she remembered from that night was a soft hand ghosting up her sides, and a soft kiss on her cheek. 

  
————-

  
As soon as Meryl opened her eyes she winced in pain, blood rushed to her head as she squinted at the sun rays peeking through the curtains. This was a rare Meryl Davis hangover. Vague memories of last night came back and Meryl groaned, covering her face with her hands as she prayed last night wasn’t as bad as she remembered. 

Suddenly, something stirred on the far corner of the room and she turned her head sharply. Maks laid on the small couch, hands splayed across the arms and head lolled to one side. So it wasn’t a dream, she thought. His chest rose and fell with the steady sound of his breathing, providing a peaceful sound in the otherwise silent room. Knowing he was a heavy sleeper, she got up and walked to the bathroom; filling up a glass with water before downing an Advil. Leaning against the sink, she tossed her head back. Something felt strangely familiar this morning, despite the throbbing headache, a warmth had nestled in her she couldn’t quite describe; weaving it’s way through her heart. It was almost like the piece of her missing the past few months had reassembled in her sleep.

Maks’ soft snore in the background suddenly reminded her of something and she crossed the room to the coffee maker, pouring the rich dark liquid and swirling it in her cup to release the aroma. She took a sip and waited, a sly smile on her face as his eyes slowly opened to the familiar smell. 

"I see caffeine is still your alarm clock."

"Good morning to you too," Maks chuckled as he got up to stretch his back, stiff from squeezing into a couch half his size for hours. "I see you still wake up at the crack of dawn."

Meryl swatted at him playfully as he walked over to pour a cup for himself. He leaned on the wall opposite from her, both sipping their drinks in silence as they tried to think of a way to bring up last night. 

"You stayed," Meryl said after a few moments, the smile she was trying to mask slipping into the tone of her voice. 

"You were very persistent with what you wanted." He raised an eyebrow, obviously amused by the events that went on last night. 

She felt her face heat up and tried to get the thought of her desperately clutching on to Maks in a drunken state out of her mind. 

"How badly did I embarrass myself last night?" She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. 

"Well, would you call trying to recreate our cha cha in the middle of the room before passing out on the floor embarrassing?"

A look of sheer horror crossed Meryl’s face as Maks laughed heartily, “I’m kidding!”

"I don’t know what got into me. I never drink that much," she admitted. It was true, the last time Meryl recalled drinking more than half a glass was when she was still living in a sorority at college. 

"It was all Charlie’s fault," he joked. "Sharna was practically drunk calling everyone after he got her that third round."

"Damn Charlie."

They fell back into a comfortable silence after that, filled only by their light breathing and the sloshing of liquid against their cups. After a few minutes, Maks started to say goodbye and make his way out. Meryl didn’t notice, because something had been bothering her since she woke up, the thought infecting her mind and demanding to be heard.  
It was only when he turned the door knob that she spoke. 

"Maks?" 

He paused, turning back to look at her. 

"Did we make a mistake?" She just wanted an answer. Not the truth. She knew what the truth was and knew that it’d just make it worse

"Hmm?" His brows furrowed in confusion. 

"The breakup. Was it a mistake?" Meryl’s hands shook as the words escaped her mouth. Only then did she realized how long she’d been wanting to say it. 

His face went rigid. Rough lines rimming his eyes and settling his mouth into a hard line. All of a sudden he looked years older.

Maks’ gaze bore into her so deep she almost regretted asking, but she had to know. He opened his mouth to speak but decided against it, instead turning sharply on his heel. Then he was gone. The door closing behind him, knocking the wind out of Meryl though she was several feet away.

  
She knew it was what she wanted.  
But her heart broke anyway.


End file.
